RELATIONSHIPS and MARRIAGE 101 - RECOMMENDED READING MATERIAL!!
PARTNERS AND MARRIAGE By Eduardo Jose E. Calasanz
I have never met a man who didn’t want to be loved. But I have seldom met a man who didn’t fear marriage. Something about the closure seems constricting, not enabling. Marriage seems easier to understand for what it cuts out of our lives than for what it makes possible within our lives.
When I was younger this fear immobilized me. I did not want to make a mistake. I saw my friends get married for reasons of social acceptability, or sexual fever, or just because they thought it was the logical thing to do. Then I watched, as they and their partners became embittered and petty in their dealings with each other. I looked at older couples and saw, at best, mutual toleration of each other. I imagined a lifetime of loveless nights and bickering and could not imagine subjecting myself or someone else to such a fate.
And yet, on rare occasions, I would see old couples who somehow seemed to glow in each other’s presence. They seemed really in love, not just dependent upon each other and tolerant of each other’s foibles. It was an astounding sight, and it seemed impossible.
How, I asked myself, can they have survived so many years of sameness, so much irritation at the other’s habits? What keeps love alive in them, when most of us seem unable to even stay together, much less love each other?
The central secret seems to be in choosing well. There is something to the claim of fundamental compatibility. Good people can create a bad relationship, even though they both dearly want the relationship to succeed. It is important to find someone with whom you can create a good relationship from the outset. Unfortunately, it is hard to see clearly in the early stages.
Sexual hunger draws you to each other and colors the way you see yourselves together. It blinds you to the thousands of little things by which relationships eventually survive or fail. You need to find a way to see beyond this initial overwhelming sexual fascination. Some people choose to involve themselves sexually and ride out the most heated period of sexual attraction in order to see what is on the other side. This can work, but it can also leave a trail of wounded hearts. Others deny the sexual side altogether in an attempt to get to know each other apart from their sexuality. But they cannot see clearly, because the presence of unfulfilled sexual desire looms so large that it keeps them from having any normal perception of what life would be like together.
The truly lucky people are the ones who manage to become long- time friends before they realize they are attracted to each other. They get to know each other’s laughs, passions, sadness, and fears. They see each other at their worst and at their best. They share time together before they get swept into the entangling intimacy of their sexuality.
This is the ideal, but not often possible. If you fall under the spell of your sexual attraction immediately, you need to look beyond it for other keys to compatibility.
One of these is laughter. Laughter tells you how much you will enjoy each other’s company over the long term. If your laughter together is good and healthy, and not at the expense of others, then you have a healthy relationship to the world. Laughter is the child of surprise. If you can make each other laugh, you can always surprise each other. And if you can always surprise each other, you can always keep the world around you new. Beware of a relationship in which there is no laughter. Even the most intimate relationships based only on seriousness have a tendency to turn sour. Over time, sharing a common serious viewpoint on the world tends to turn you against those who do not share the same viewpoint, and your relationship can become based on being critical together.
After laughter, look for a partner who deals with the world in a way you respect. When two people first get together, they tend to see their relationship as existing only in the space between the two of them. They find each other endlessly fascinating, and the overwhelming power of the emotions they are sharing obscures the outside world. As the relationship ages and grows, the outside world becomes important again. If your partner treats people or circumstances in a way you can’t accept, you will inevitably come to grief. Look at the way she cares for others and deals with the daily affairs of life. If that makes you love her more, your love will grow. If it does not, be careful. If you do not respect the way you each deal with the world around you, eventually the two of you will not respect each other.
Look also at how your partner confronts the mysteries of life. We live on the cusp of poetry and practicality, and the real life of the heart resides in the poetic. If one of you is deeply affected by the mystery of the unseen in life and relationships, while the other is drawn only to the literal and the practical, you must take care that the distancedoesn’t become an unbridgeable gap that leaves you each feeling isolated and misunderstood.
There are many other keys, but you must find them by yourself. We all have unchangeable parts of our hearts that we will not betray and private commitments to a vision of life that we will not deny. If you fall in love with someone who cannot nourish those inviolable parts of you, or if you cannot nourish them in her, you will find yourselves growing further apart until you live in separate worlds where you share the business of life, but never touch each other where the heart lives and dreams. From there it is only a small leap to the cataloging of petty hurts and daily failures that leaves so many couples bitter and unsatisfied with their mates.
So choose carefully and well. If you do, you will have chosen a partner with whom you can grow, and then the real miracle of marriage can take place in your hearts. I pick my words carefully when I speak of a miracle. But I think it is not too strong a word. There is a miracle in marriage. It is called transformation. Transformation is one of the most common events of nature. The seed becomes the flower. The cocoon becomes the butterfly. Winter becomes spring and love becomes a child. We never question these, because we see them around us every day. To us they are not miracles, though if we did not know them they would be impossible to believe. Marriage is a transformation we choose to make.
Our love is planted like a seed, and in time it begins to flower. We cannot know the flower that will blossom, but we can be sure that a bloom will come. If you have chosen carefully and wisely, the bloom will be good. If you have chosen poorly or for the wrong reason, the bloom will be flawed. We are quite willing to accept the reality of negative transformation in a marriage. It was negative transformation that always had me terrified of the bitter marriages that I feared when I was younger.
It never occurred to me to question the dark miracle that transformed love into harshness and bitterness. Yet I was unable to accept the possibility that the first heat of love could be transformed into something positive that was actually deeper and more meaningful than the heat of fresh passion. All I could believe in was the power of this passion and the fear that when it cooled I would be left with something lesser and bitter. But there is positive transformation as well. Like negative transformation, it results from a slow accretion of little things. But instead of death by a thousand blows, it is growth by a thousand touches of love. Two histories intermingle. Two separate beings, two separate presence, two separate consciousnesses come together and share a view of life that passes before them. They remain separate, but they also become one.
There is an expansion of awareness, not a closure and a constriction, as I had once feared. This is not to say that there is not tension and there are not traps. Tension and traps are part of every choice of life, from celibate to monogamous to having multiple lovers. Each choice contains within it the lingering doubt that the road not taken somehow more fruitful and exciting, and each becomes dulled to the richness that it alone contains.But only marriage allows life to deepen and expand and be leavened by the knowledge that two have chosen, against all odds, to become one. Those who live together without marriage can know the pleasure of shared company, but there is a specific gravity in the marriage commitment that deepens that experience into something richer and more complex. So do not fear marriage, just as you should not rush into it for the wrong reasons. It is an act of faith and it contains within it the power of transformation.
If you believe in your heart that you have found someone with whom you are able to grow, if you have sufficient faith that you can resist the endless attraction of the road not taken and the partner not chosen, if you have the strength of heart to embrace the cycles and seasons that your love will experience, then you may be ready to seek the miracle that marriage offers. If not, then wait. The easy grace of a marriage well made is worth your patience. When the time comes, a thousand flowers will bloom… endlessly.
So what do you think?
Friday, April 9, 2010
Stress in Life - A Good Read
Subject: Stress in Life - A Good Read
Stress is one of the deadliest curses of the modern age.
The most dreaded diseases that afflict man like chronic nervous tension, heart trouble, and cancer have been found to be stress-related. Stress is caused by leading a fast, complicated, and nerve-wracking lifestyle. We constantly find that there is neither enough time nor resources to do the things we want or need to do, leaving us feeling agitated, harassed, frantic, and continually on edge. To be able to cope with the growing complexity and pressures of life that confront us daily, we need to de-stress by slowing down and voluntarily simplifying our lives. Voluntary life simplification is not about being miserable, poor or deprived. It is about knowing your true values, goals, and priorities so you can focus on them, and discard all the other matters that just add tension and confusion to your existence. Don't let stress wear you down. Discover through thoughtful analysis of your values, lifestyle, and goals what is "enough" or just "perfectly right" for you. With voluntary life simplification, you can save your health and sanity, and maximize your capacity to savor and enjoy life.
1. Take a vow of voluntary life simplicity. Take a pen and a sheet of paper and write down the things that complicate, harass, and bring tension into your life. Come up with creative ideas to counter these for a less stressful and more meaningful life.
2. Slow down. If you constantly find yourself racing against the clock, take a deep breath and calm down. You must learn to simplify your day-to-day schedule and live a more balanced, deliberate, and purposeful life. Most important of all, learn to say no to people and
activities that you can do well without.
3. De-clutter. Most of us have an excessive preoccupation with "things" and having or collecting them. Control your compulsive consumer habits or shopping/buying addiction and minimize your material possessions. Life will
be so much easier when you travel light.
4. Detoxify. As a result of watching too many commercials coupled with our excessive obsession to stay young, beautiful, and healthy, most of us take too much vitamins, use too much shampoos and detergents, apply too much makeup and beauty products, etc. Detoxify your body inside out; let it breathe freely, and nurture itself naturally.
5. De-tech. Technological advance-ments sometimes prove to complicate our lives rather than bring convenience. No, you don't have to ditch your cell phone, e-mail or voice mail; stay connected but not too connected that you end up stressed and harassed. Turn off your cell phone once in a while (and have refreshing, momentary peace), and watch less TV (it is a time thief!).
6. Practice time management. We all have the same 24 hours in one day yet some people are more productive with their time than others. Their secret? They know how to manage and use their time wisely. Make a daily to-do list of your activities, prioritize them, and stick to your schedule.
7. Downsize your career ambitions. If your career seems to endanger your physical, emotional, and mental sanity, re-plan and downsize it. Our obsession to be ahead in the rat race often leads to disturbing anxieties, frustrations and, ultimately, diseases. Be realistic about your career and business goals, and save your life.
8. Delegate. Face it, you cannot do everything yourself; delegate chores at home and at the office. Ask for help; get a secretary or assistant, employ a cleaning lady once a week, have your clothes laundered. The time you will save will be priceless if used to devote to things that mean so much to you like spending quality time with your kids, or learning life-improvement skills in schools and seminars.
9. Give up unnecessary things and activities. By force of habit or what conveniently term "sentimental reasons," we tend to hang on to things and activities that no longer serve a purpose in our lives. Ask, "Is this thing relevant and does it serve a purpose at this stage of my life?" If them answer is no, discard it.
10. Get out of debt. People who stay in debt are faced by the continuous nuisance of receiving and dealing with threatening collection notices. Being in debt puts you under intense stress; settle your debts right away or do it gradually but diligently if you cannot pay upfront. Avoid the temptation of further buying on credit.
11. Say goodbye to negative or toxic people. Simplifying your life may mean getting rid of some people, too. Be selective with friends and social circles you join. Make sure you build relationships with good, sincere, loving, supportive, and nurturing people. Avoid negative
or toxic people; they can dampen your enthusiasm and drain your energy.
12. Avoid information overload. In this day and age of worldwide information technology, we are all bound to be saturated with info and ideas that may not be relevant or useful in our lives. Choose and filter the amount and quality of information you expose yourself to. Being flooded with stimuli can overwhelm and confuse you, and can be an enormous source of stress.
13. Spring clean. Spring cleaning doesn't just involve cleaning up your home and work spaces and editing your accumulation of trinkets and junk. It also entails spiritual cleansing and renewal. This may mean settling unresolved issues with relatives and loved ones, and even social and professional associates. Go to a gym for an energizing workout or a spa once in a while for a relaxing body massage.
14. Go back to nature living. Connect yourself with the earth more, and live off the land. Grow your own organic vegetables and fruits, opt to use natural products (not synthetic), and choose to eat unprocessed foods. You are a child of the earth and your health as well as the
earth's beauty, safety, and well-being depends on you.
15. Live in the moment. Learn to relax and take your time, and preoccupy yourself with the present. Don't agonize over the past because it's gone and don't be anxious over the future because it is still to come. Learn to relish the now, and take time to pause and feel the fresh wind. Most of all, try never to worry.
"Happiness comes from within, and rests most securely on simple goodness and clear conscience."
William Ogden
Stress is one of the deadliest curses of the modern age.
The most dreaded diseases that afflict man like chronic nervous tension, heart trouble, and cancer have been found to be stress-related. Stress is caused by leading a fast, complicated, and nerve-wracking lifestyle. We constantly find that there is neither enough time nor resources to do the things we want or need to do, leaving us feeling agitated, harassed, frantic, and continually on edge. To be able to cope with the growing complexity and pressures of life that confront us daily, we need to de-stress by slowing down and voluntarily simplifying our lives. Voluntary life simplification is not about being miserable, poor or deprived. It is about knowing your true values, goals, and priorities so you can focus on them, and discard all the other matters that just add tension and confusion to your existence. Don't let stress wear you down. Discover through thoughtful analysis of your values, lifestyle, and goals what is "enough" or just "perfectly right" for you. With voluntary life simplification, you can save your health and sanity, and maximize your capacity to savor and enjoy life.
1. Take a vow of voluntary life simplicity. Take a pen and a sheet of paper and write down the things that complicate, harass, and bring tension into your life. Come up with creative ideas to counter these for a less stressful and more meaningful life.
2. Slow down. If you constantly find yourself racing against the clock, take a deep breath and calm down. You must learn to simplify your day-to-day schedule and live a more balanced, deliberate, and purposeful life. Most important of all, learn to say no to people and
activities that you can do well without.
3. De-clutter. Most of us have an excessive preoccupation with "things" and having or collecting them. Control your compulsive consumer habits or shopping/buying addiction and minimize your material possessions. Life will
be so much easier when you travel light.
4. Detoxify. As a result of watching too many commercials coupled with our excessive obsession to stay young, beautiful, and healthy, most of us take too much vitamins, use too much shampoos and detergents, apply too much makeup and beauty products, etc. Detoxify your body inside out; let it breathe freely, and nurture itself naturally.
5. De-tech. Technological advance-ments sometimes prove to complicate our lives rather than bring convenience. No, you don't have to ditch your cell phone, e-mail or voice mail; stay connected but not too connected that you end up stressed and harassed. Turn off your cell phone once in a while (and have refreshing, momentary peace), and watch less TV (it is a time thief!).
6. Practice time management. We all have the same 24 hours in one day yet some people are more productive with their time than others. Their secret? They know how to manage and use their time wisely. Make a daily to-do list of your activities, prioritize them, and stick to your schedule.
7. Downsize your career ambitions. If your career seems to endanger your physical, emotional, and mental sanity, re-plan and downsize it. Our obsession to be ahead in the rat race often leads to disturbing anxieties, frustrations and, ultimately, diseases. Be realistic about your career and business goals, and save your life.
8. Delegate. Face it, you cannot do everything yourself; delegate chores at home and at the office. Ask for help; get a secretary or assistant, employ a cleaning lady once a week, have your clothes laundered. The time you will save will be priceless if used to devote to things that mean so much to you like spending quality time with your kids, or learning life-improvement skills in schools and seminars.
9. Give up unnecessary things and activities. By force of habit or what conveniently term "sentimental reasons," we tend to hang on to things and activities that no longer serve a purpose in our lives. Ask, "Is this thing relevant and does it serve a purpose at this stage of my life?" If them answer is no, discard it.
10. Get out of debt. People who stay in debt are faced by the continuous nuisance of receiving and dealing with threatening collection notices. Being in debt puts you under intense stress; settle your debts right away or do it gradually but diligently if you cannot pay upfront. Avoid the temptation of further buying on credit.
11. Say goodbye to negative or toxic people. Simplifying your life may mean getting rid of some people, too. Be selective with friends and social circles you join. Make sure you build relationships with good, sincere, loving, supportive, and nurturing people. Avoid negative
or toxic people; they can dampen your enthusiasm and drain your energy.
12. Avoid information overload. In this day and age of worldwide information technology, we are all bound to be saturated with info and ideas that may not be relevant or useful in our lives. Choose and filter the amount and quality of information you expose yourself to. Being flooded with stimuli can overwhelm and confuse you, and can be an enormous source of stress.
13. Spring clean. Spring cleaning doesn't just involve cleaning up your home and work spaces and editing your accumulation of trinkets and junk. It also entails spiritual cleansing and renewal. This may mean settling unresolved issues with relatives and loved ones, and even social and professional associates. Go to a gym for an energizing workout or a spa once in a while for a relaxing body massage.
14. Go back to nature living. Connect yourself with the earth more, and live off the land. Grow your own organic vegetables and fruits, opt to use natural products (not synthetic), and choose to eat unprocessed foods. You are a child of the earth and your health as well as the
earth's beauty, safety, and well-being depends on you.
15. Live in the moment. Learn to relax and take your time, and preoccupy yourself with the present. Don't agonize over the past because it's gone and don't be anxious over the future because it is still to come. Learn to relish the now, and take time to pause and feel the fresh wind. Most of all, try never to worry.
"Happiness comes from within, and rests most securely on simple goodness and clear conscience."
William Ogden
Monday, April 5, 2010
just a thought.....
In life there is always a choice....
Sometimes we forget and sometimes we just want to forget. According to experts in science, a CHOICE is a mind's game. it's not about being right or wrong but the will that drives a man to make a decision in which he believes that this will make a big difference in his life.
Did you know that when it comes to CHOICES, women and men think differently? How So? Men don't think much as women does. Men's answers are limited and they are easily pleased where as women, they tend to change from one answer to another. They analyze. you know why? because according to women's nature, they use another key ingredient in that is what we call emotion. Once a choice has been made they level in the capacity of emotion, together, they make a perfect combination. Women believed that it keeps the balance of life. and that keeps women sane.
The most popular Choice that man ever made is what we call PERSONAL CHOICE.
If you check the percentage of suicide, men has the highest percentage of incident than women. Women on the other hand, would rather choose to be inside an asylum than be dead. you know why? because they knew that once you end your life, you will never find peace but rather pain. They would rather choose to find the path to redemption though it will take time, they know they will find it.
Now a days, because of the things happening around us, we tend to adapt to our environment and little by little we change.
If you analyze the difference between men and women now, they're not that different no more. God created men and women to have their own weaknesses and strengths.
We forget the purpose why we are created according to his will. And through our personal choices we tend to fight for what we thought is right.
Always remember, that there are other ways to understand the difference between genders. All you need to do is ask...
just a thought.... what do you think?
Sometimes we forget and sometimes we just want to forget. According to experts in science, a CHOICE is a mind's game. it's not about being right or wrong but the will that drives a man to make a decision in which he believes that this will make a big difference in his life.
Did you know that when it comes to CHOICES, women and men think differently? How So? Men don't think much as women does. Men's answers are limited and they are easily pleased where as women, they tend to change from one answer to another. They analyze. you know why? because according to women's nature, they use another key ingredient in that is what we call emotion. Once a choice has been made they level in the capacity of emotion, together, they make a perfect combination. Women believed that it keeps the balance of life. and that keeps women sane.
The most popular Choice that man ever made is what we call PERSONAL CHOICE.
If you check the percentage of suicide, men has the highest percentage of incident than women. Women on the other hand, would rather choose to be inside an asylum than be dead. you know why? because they knew that once you end your life, you will never find peace but rather pain. They would rather choose to find the path to redemption though it will take time, they know they will find it.
Now a days, because of the things happening around us, we tend to adapt to our environment and little by little we change.
If you analyze the difference between men and women now, they're not that different no more. God created men and women to have their own weaknesses and strengths.
We forget the purpose why we are created according to his will. And through our personal choices we tend to fight for what we thought is right.
Always remember, that there are other ways to understand the difference between genders. All you need to do is ask...
just a thought.... what do you think?
The Right Habits
The Right Habits
Let’s look a little closer at the meaning of the word habit. Random House dictionary defines habit in this way:
Habit: An acquired behaviour pattern regularly followed until it becomes almost involuntary.
The important words in this definition are acquired and almost involuntary. Let me ask you a question. When is the last time you sat down and said to yourself? “Today I am going to add a new habit to my life?” I guess that you have probably never said those words. So what is a positive habit? A positive habit is simply a habit that produces positive benefits, actions and attitudes you want to acquire and make part of your life. Why is there such great power in positive habits to effect change? Because habits; by their very nature, are automatic.After a period of time they can become permanent.
So how do we go about adding new positive habit’s to our life? It’s really quite simple.
You simply begin repeating an action, attitude or thought process every day for at least 21 days.
Research has shown that an action that is repeated for a minimum of 21 days is likely to become a habit.
Remember that positive habits have positive benefits and you will reap those benefits for as long as you maintain that habit.
Brian Tracy states the Law of Habit as: -
“In the absence of a specific decision on your part to change some aspect of your life, the natural tendency will be to go on the same way indefinitely. Ninety-five percent of what we do is habit.”
You can create a new habit by just repeating an activity over and over again for approximately 21 days
An explanation of habit by way of a poem
I am your constant companion
I am your greatest helper or your heaviest burden
I will push you onward or drag you down to failure
I am completely at your command
Half the things you do, you might just as well turn them over to me,
And I will be able to do them quickly and correctly
I am easily managed; you must be firm with me
Show me exactly how you want something done, and after a
Few lessons I will do it automatically
I am the servant of all great men
And, alas, of all failures as well
Those who are great, I have made great
Those who are failures, I have made failures
I am not a machine, though I work with all the precision
of a machine. Plus, the intelligence of a man
You may run me for profit, or run me for ruin; it makes no
difference to me.
Take me, train me, be firm with me and I will put the world
At your feet
Be easy with me, and I will destroy you
Who am I?
I am a HABIT!
- Author Unknown
Kick Your Bad Habit – And Keep it Away for Good Getting started on a bad habit is easy, but quitting it can be very difficult. So how do you quit a bad habit you’ve been meaning to? Well, if you’re looking for answers; Here are some tips on making a bad habit a thing of the past.
1. Define Your Goals.
First, you have to identify the habit you are trying to kick out. This is the most important step in kicking a habit. If you don’t accept that you have a problem, you won’t be able to solve it. Write it down and why you want to rid yourself of it. When you have written it down, proceed to naming your goals. If
your goal is to lose weight or quit smoking, then state it boldly.
Along with the goal, you will need to state why you wish to change then add some other data, such as schedules and plans for quitting the habit in question. When defining your goals, try not to make the mistake of putting in an unrealistic goal. This will only serve to frustrate your attempts,
and you could very well see yourself falling back on your old habit!
2. Get Help.
You should realize that there are things that are best solved with the help of a friend. A bad habit is one of them. Support groups are a wonderful way to suppress your quitting efforts. Knowing that there are people who are going through the same things you are going through, and who support you emotionally and physically, can greatly increase your will and ability to deal with a bad habit.
3. Substitution.
When trying to quit a habit, the stress and anxiety that follows an episode when you cannot get the result you want can be truly unnerving. One technique to help you overcome this is to try substitution. The best way to quit a habit is to replace it with another habit – one you wish to acquire for your benefit. As Og Mandino would say you can only replace one habit by overwriting it with another more desirable one.
4. Keep Track of Your Progress.
Progress always is a great motivator for people to stop a habit. To avoid thinking that you are going nowhere, keep a log of your quitting journey, this will encourage you when you think you are not making progress. And most importantly reward yourself for every milestone you achieve. Don’t make the milestones too big – small steps are best. This is a good way to encourage you towards your goal.
To help you stay on track and put your life on autopilot for success we recommend the program “The Power of Positive Habits” "If greater success, improved self-esteem and happiness are your
life destinations, The Power of Positive Habits can take you there! This is a simple but powerful program that can transform your life."
The Art of Adapting to Change
One of the main reasons that may hinder us from reaching our innermost goals and desires is our inability to be flexible. This fact may be hard to swallow, but it's true. We do everything we can to eliminate any type of suffering in our lives, yet challenges and pressures can bring out the best in us.
If you have been burdened by mistakes in the past, learn from them, forget about them, and move on. Some people tend to focus on how bad their lives have been due to these mistakes.
As a result, they remained stuck in their miserable lives. Treat your mistakes as lessons, and apply them as learning references in your future endeavours. Remember the past is the past – it is gone forever.
So what if you invested in a business and you lose a ton of money? In this situation, some people would remain deeply discouraged for a long time that their personal lives are being affected negatively.
They can't eat well and they just stare at the ceiling all night long, thinking how this bad incident happened. Furthermore, they would probably vow not to venture into new opportunities again. Speaking as someone who has ‘the T Shirt’ been there done that I can assure you that its not life threatening, OK it maybe disappointing for a while – so what! You don't have to be like them. If you're afraid to fail, then you risk all your chances to achieve your goals in life. Try again; but this time, be more careful and use your past mistakes as guide maps.
Look at it this way. If you try, at least you get a 50% chance of getting what you want. But if you did not try at all, you have absolutely no chance of attaining your desires in life. It's a nobrainer.
Let's fast forward into the future. Let's say you do try, you create some new habits and you follow through, and you succeed, great congratulations. This does not mean you'll stay in that situation for good. Problems may rise again, so always be ready to adjust to the current situation.
Let’s look a little closer at the meaning of the word habit. Random House dictionary defines habit in this way:
Habit: An acquired behaviour pattern regularly followed until it becomes almost involuntary.
The important words in this definition are acquired and almost involuntary. Let me ask you a question. When is the last time you sat down and said to yourself? “Today I am going to add a new habit to my life?” I guess that you have probably never said those words. So what is a positive habit? A positive habit is simply a habit that produces positive benefits, actions and attitudes you want to acquire and make part of your life. Why is there such great power in positive habits to effect change? Because habits; by their very nature, are automatic.After a period of time they can become permanent.
So how do we go about adding new positive habit’s to our life? It’s really quite simple.
You simply begin repeating an action, attitude or thought process every day for at least 21 days.
Research has shown that an action that is repeated for a minimum of 21 days is likely to become a habit.
Remember that positive habits have positive benefits and you will reap those benefits for as long as you maintain that habit.
Brian Tracy states the Law of Habit as: -
“In the absence of a specific decision on your part to change some aspect of your life, the natural tendency will be to go on the same way indefinitely. Ninety-five percent of what we do is habit.”
You can create a new habit by just repeating an activity over and over again for approximately 21 days
An explanation of habit by way of a poem
I am your constant companion
I am your greatest helper or your heaviest burden
I will push you onward or drag you down to failure
I am completely at your command
Half the things you do, you might just as well turn them over to me,
And I will be able to do them quickly and correctly
I am easily managed; you must be firm with me
Show me exactly how you want something done, and after a
Few lessons I will do it automatically
I am the servant of all great men
And, alas, of all failures as well
Those who are great, I have made great
Those who are failures, I have made failures
I am not a machine, though I work with all the precision
of a machine. Plus, the intelligence of a man
You may run me for profit, or run me for ruin; it makes no
difference to me.
Take me, train me, be firm with me and I will put the world
At your feet
Be easy with me, and I will destroy you
Who am I?
I am a HABIT!
- Author Unknown
Kick Your Bad Habit – And Keep it Away for Good Getting started on a bad habit is easy, but quitting it can be very difficult. So how do you quit a bad habit you’ve been meaning to? Well, if you’re looking for answers; Here are some tips on making a bad habit a thing of the past.
1. Define Your Goals.
First, you have to identify the habit you are trying to kick out. This is the most important step in kicking a habit. If you don’t accept that you have a problem, you won’t be able to solve it. Write it down and why you want to rid yourself of it. When you have written it down, proceed to naming your goals. If
your goal is to lose weight or quit smoking, then state it boldly.
Along with the goal, you will need to state why you wish to change then add some other data, such as schedules and plans for quitting the habit in question. When defining your goals, try not to make the mistake of putting in an unrealistic goal. This will only serve to frustrate your attempts,
and you could very well see yourself falling back on your old habit!
2. Get Help.
You should realize that there are things that are best solved with the help of a friend. A bad habit is one of them. Support groups are a wonderful way to suppress your quitting efforts. Knowing that there are people who are going through the same things you are going through, and who support you emotionally and physically, can greatly increase your will and ability to deal with a bad habit.
3. Substitution.
When trying to quit a habit, the stress and anxiety that follows an episode when you cannot get the result you want can be truly unnerving. One technique to help you overcome this is to try substitution. The best way to quit a habit is to replace it with another habit – one you wish to acquire for your benefit. As Og Mandino would say you can only replace one habit by overwriting it with another more desirable one.
4. Keep Track of Your Progress.
Progress always is a great motivator for people to stop a habit. To avoid thinking that you are going nowhere, keep a log of your quitting journey, this will encourage you when you think you are not making progress. And most importantly reward yourself for every milestone you achieve. Don’t make the milestones too big – small steps are best. This is a good way to encourage you towards your goal.
To help you stay on track and put your life on autopilot for success we recommend the program “The Power of Positive Habits” "If greater success, improved self-esteem and happiness are your
life destinations, The Power of Positive Habits can take you there! This is a simple but powerful program that can transform your life."
The Art of Adapting to Change
One of the main reasons that may hinder us from reaching our innermost goals and desires is our inability to be flexible. This fact may be hard to swallow, but it's true. We do everything we can to eliminate any type of suffering in our lives, yet challenges and pressures can bring out the best in us.
If you have been burdened by mistakes in the past, learn from them, forget about them, and move on. Some people tend to focus on how bad their lives have been due to these mistakes.
As a result, they remained stuck in their miserable lives. Treat your mistakes as lessons, and apply them as learning references in your future endeavours. Remember the past is the past – it is gone forever.
So what if you invested in a business and you lose a ton of money? In this situation, some people would remain deeply discouraged for a long time that their personal lives are being affected negatively.
They can't eat well and they just stare at the ceiling all night long, thinking how this bad incident happened. Furthermore, they would probably vow not to venture into new opportunities again. Speaking as someone who has ‘the T Shirt’ been there done that I can assure you that its not life threatening, OK it maybe disappointing for a while – so what! You don't have to be like them. If you're afraid to fail, then you risk all your chances to achieve your goals in life. Try again; but this time, be more careful and use your past mistakes as guide maps.
Look at it this way. If you try, at least you get a 50% chance of getting what you want. But if you did not try at all, you have absolutely no chance of attaining your desires in life. It's a nobrainer.
Let's fast forward into the future. Let's say you do try, you create some new habits and you follow through, and you succeed, great congratulations. This does not mean you'll stay in that situation for good. Problems may rise again, so always be ready to adjust to the current situation.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
prayer
To my readers,
I friend of mine gave this to me and told me to pray with all my heart. And pray not only for yourself but for everyone who needs it. So I share this to you and hope you share this too. You have a wonderful day ahead of you.
FINANCIAL BLESSING PRAYER
Heavenly Father, most Gracious and Loving God, I pray to you that you abundantly bless my family and me. I know that you recognize, that a Family is more than just a mother, father, sister, brother, husband and wife, but all who believe and trust in You.
GOD, I s end up a prayer request for financial blessing for not only the person who sent this to me, but for me and all that I have forwarded this message on to and that the power of joined prayer by those who Believe and trust in you is more powerful than anything! I thank you in Advance for your blessings. God, deliver the person reading this right Now from debt and debt burdens.
Release your Godly wisdom that I may be a good steward over all that you Have given me GOD, for I know how wonderful and mighty you are and how If we just obey you and walk in your word and have the faith of a Mustard seed that you will pour out blessings. I thank you now Lord for The recent blessings I have received and for the blessings yet to come, Because I know you are not done with me yet. In Jesus name Amen
- source
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
10 Tips for Staying on Budget
Do you want to save? and enjoy them later like traveling to different sites in the philippines with friends or even go abroad? or purchase your own home, car or start a business? You can do that.
Here are some tips that maybe will help you enjoy your money wisely. I picked this up while surfing on the net.
10 Tips for Staying on Budget
1. Focus on Savings
| Major Purchases The most common major purchases are homes and vehicles. If you're buying a home, you'll probably be expected to make a down payment of 20 percent, or to take a second mortgage to cover the down payment. If you can make the down payment without a loan, you'll have a significantly lower payment each month. The same goes for vehicles. Creative and managed budgeting can help you make a larger down payment and have a much lower monthly payment for years to come. |
By now, you've set up your budget. You know how much money you have. But you could still use some help staying on budget. Here are some tips that can help you stick to your budget and get ahead on that major purchase:
Determine the amount of your budget that you can afford to save each month. Have it direct-deposited to your savings account, or to your mutual fund. Wherever you decide to keep your savings, make sure you put money into it every month. That savings will make a big difference for you later.
2. Use Cash
Take out enough cash to last one week at a time. Make up your mind that the cash you have is all you get for discretionary expenses, or things that you could live without, each week. It's much easier to turn down a $60 pair of shoes when it will take the last of your week's cash than it is when you just have to swipe a credit card.
3. Cut Bad Habits
Whether it's alcohol or tobacco, if you use much of either, you know how expensive bad habits can be. Stop smoking and drinking, and put the beer/cigarette money toward your other expenses. You'll see your bills come down -- and feel your health improve -- in no time. You'll also save on health care expenses down the road, and you may become eligible for lower insurance premiums.
4. Share the Responsibility
Make sure you're not the only member of your household concerned about your budget. If you're working hard to save money, but your spouse is out spending you into debt, you're fighting a losing battle. Sit down together and make a plan to determine how much spending money you should each have. Then, check in every week to see how well you're doing. If the entire family shares the responsibility for the budget, everyone can cut back just a little and make a big difference. One person shouldn't have to shoulder the entire burden alone.
5. Pay Down Debt
If you have credit card debt, you may feel like it's going to take forever to pay it off. But you can get ahead by choosing one card -- ideally, the one with the highest interest rate -- and paying as much as you can on it every month. If you have other cards, pay the minimum balance on those until you've paid off the first card. Then, choose the next card and pay extra on it while you pay minimums on the others. If you pay only the minimums on all your cards, you'll be paying a lot more in interest than you may realize.
6. Keep Your Receipts
You probably monitored your expenses for several weeks to make a budget. Once the budget is made, though, it can be tempting to stop keeping up with every little expense. But keeping track really can help you stick to your budget. Save your receipts, and write down the places you spend money. You'll be less likely to overspend if you realize how much money has actually gone through your hands.
7. Balance Your Checkbook
Do you balance your checkbook regularly? If not, it's a good habit to start. If you're on a tight budget, a couple of small mistakes can lead to overdraft charges and insufficient funds in your account. If you balance up every time you get a bank statement, you can make sure your ledger stays in the black.
8. Analyze Your Spending
Look through your budget and all your receipts. Can you find an expense that can be cut? Maybe you could bring your lunch to work twice a week, or set up a carpool with a friend. Just cutting out restaurant and gas costs can help increase the amount of money you have available for savings and purchases.
9. Special Accounts
If you find that you keep reaching into your savings, set up a CD or other account with early withdrawal penalties. Banks and other institutions pay more interest if you'll agree to let them use your money for a longer amount of time. Putting your savings into a yearly CD will yield more than a three-month note would
10. Be Flexible
| Balancing Your Checkbook If you're one of the many who have no idea how to balance a checkbook, you may get a little nervous about learning how. But don't despair. There are many Web sites, which can help, or your bank officer will show you how. The first step is to make yourself list every check you write in your register. Or, to be sure you don't forget, you can get carbon copy checks. |
Remember that life is unpredictable, and things happen that are out of our control. When you make a budget, try to allow some extra money for variable expenses. And, be gentle with yourself if you go over your budget sometimes. It can be hard to get back on track if you let yourself get too frustrated over a mistake or two.
Following these tips can help you stick to your budget. You can prepare for a major purchase without having to borrow more than is absolutely necessary, and you can feel good about keeping your finances under control. Make sure you update your budget regularly, and prioritize your spending -- know what is important enough to be worth your hard-earned money. Budgeting will come more easily the longer you stay with it, and you will reap the rewards in years to come. Above all, remember that budgeting is worth the effort. Keeping on budget can make your entire life run more smoothly, since so many things are affected by your financial status
- source
HAPPY SAVING!!!
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